Dear The Brit Awards,

It's not you, it's me. I feel we have to call our relationship a day. Simply put, I've outgrown you. Once upon a time you would see me gathering friends around to the house to watch and critque the awards (maybe with a little help from a good friend). Shouting at the television showing us undeserving winners, presenter debacles here and here, the seemingly endless exports from The Brits School (we did cheer at Alex Turner's comments in 2008 though), who could forget Jesus performing at the ceremony in 1996 or indeed any of these showbiz moments?

Over recent years though, I find myself becoming less interested in who's nominated or which ever Brit School graduate will win The Critics Choice award or whatever award they make up each year.

And now I find you're being hosted by James Corden. Did you learn NOTHING from the almighty humour drought that was 2009's awards? Obviously not. You deserve him and nothing better than him.

It breaks my heart, but I've grown up and moved on. But if you ever had any feelings for me over years, any feelings whatsoever, you'd let Plan B win. I don't think that's too much to ask after 24 years of blind devotion to you.

Good luck for the future. You'll always have a special place in my heart.

With love always,

Tara x

Well boy howdy strangers...

Right, before I post up the comments from Mammy, I must apologise for being such a shit blogger. I'm incredibly lazy, you see. David kept on at me to post, I don't even really have to do anything other than just copy the scrawled writings of my ma's but that was too much like hard work. Apologies lovely blog reader(s). Forgive me? Yes? YAY!

Anyway - Wednesday 15 September 2010 - Tonight's show is marked out of 5 and I've not a clue what's going on with the scoring system.

Manic Street Preachers:


Song 1: Same sound - Manics sound. Not bad. SCORE 3

Song 2: Nothing to say - did nothing for me. SCORE 2




Queen Emily (with a name like that she better be good...):

Great voice - nice song - kind of torch song
Kind of like Gladys Knight but then she started screaming and ruined it.

SCORE 4


Mark Ronson & ? (It's Mark Ronson and The Business International):


A Buggles lookalike woman who is not bad (a bit Lily Allenish) but then the rapping started - overall, not my scene

Score 1



Guest - Herb Alpert (one of my old time fave trumpeters):













(Little tennis ball head) Phil Collins:

Very boring, I am going to the loo. Just got the end of it and he tried to be a bit like Frank Sinatra or someone like that and failed miserably

SCORE 1.


Klaxons

Very intense - like the song & good voices

SCORE 4.

An aside...

At mammy's today looking through piles of paperwork, I came across this gem:

The singer from Scouting For Girls - a Liberal - what a prick.

I love this woman.

15 May 2010

Firstly, apologies for not having updated for ages. I've a million things going on at the moment. I thought with being off sick, I might update it a little.

From 15th May 2010: Scores out of 6 again.

Kelis:
Song 1: Not a bad singer - shite song. About 4 notes in the whole song. She is wearing spikes on her head. Footage of her appearance 10 years ago - she was shite then too.
Song 2: Sweet Dreams - herself and Jools. Not a patch on Annie
Song 3: Better - she took my advice but a bit "dancish"
SCORE: 3




Crowded House:
Song 1: Good band, not a bad song.
Song 2: Build a wall between us - I love it, won't mark it as it was already a hit. Is it Don't Dream It's Over?
Song 3: New song. A song with a story - a bit slow but I liked it.
SCORE 5


The National:
Song 1: Sorry, neither one thing or another - boring already. A voice - bit like Johnny Cash but wasted on a poor song.
Song 2: They only know 4 notes. Fecking chancers and they get paid for rubbish!
Song 3: Terrible Love. Terrible song No U2.
SCORE 0


LCD Soundsystem:
Song 1: Dire
Song 2: I Can Change is the song - deluded. He's about 75 - well not that old, very uncool and the song is bollix. Not much music there
Score 1





Tracey Thorn:
Song 1: Another bird and a piano and a string quartet, obligatory it seems. I was fed up but jaysis, morbid. I think it was about getting jilted.
SCORE 1




Pete Molinari:

Song 1: Good sound but the singer is poor. I like the boogie though. Looks like a young Dylan.
SCORE 3








Dear Jools

The show was piss poor.

Yours faithfully,

Disappointed from Coventry

24 April 2010

These comments are taken, as written, by my mammy. She may have had some liquid refreshment to assist her judgement:

Scoring: 1-6 (6 being great) (based on 2 songs overall)

Kate Nash:
A mockney - not impressed - a Lily Allen clone.
Song 2: Better, but still mockney.
Song 3: Shite.
SCORE: 2

Band of Horses:
I like - different, good voice, bit country, bit rock. Nice sound. Good song.
Song 2: Different to 1st song and a nice song, strings etc.
Song 3. Great. They entertained me and I loved them.
SCORE: 6

Jerry Dammers and Spatial AKA Orchestra:
Big band sound, but not too big band sound, different, bit of jazz etc.
Fecking outfits not necessary. Ah Jaysus, they are trying too hard. Masks and all. Started well but ended up being pretentious.
Song 2: A load of bollix.
Song 3: Ghost Town - it's not a sing to be sung in a 'brother style'. It's a Cov song.
SCORE: 2

Plan B:
He is no Jimmy Somerville. BORING. God, he's trying to rap. Said he was wiv his brother.
Song 2: Still no Somerville, slightly better. Still not impressed.
SCORE: 2

Melody Gardot:
Good singer. Nice song, bit depressing though.
Song 2: Different and not bad. Bit of jazz feel to it.
SCORE: 4

Jerry Dammers:
Trying to look like McGowan, no front teeth and his hair needs a wash.
Selfish fuck.
Ghost Town.

Thank you mammy.

Introduction

Hello. This is my blog. Welcome.

The basis of this blog is to share with you, the internet, my mammy's scores and comments as she watches Later With Jools Holland. This might seem quite a dull idea for a blog, but her comments are always good fun, with scoring thrown in and best of all, sweariness. Yes, I think it IS big and it IS clever. In fairness to her though, she is a fiery redhaired Irish woman, so the swears are just a normal everyday occurrence in her vocabulary. And I've inherited that trait also.

Anyway, back to my mammy. She started writing comments and scoring the acts on Later... a few years back after I moved out. I was her link to new music and with me having flown the nest, she needed to know whether her finger was still on the pulse. She's got pretty good taste. On hearing 'Spitting Games' by Snore Patrol on the radio one day, she didn't even look up from her dinner as she said 'Ah, this song. It promises so much and delivers so little'. I couldn't have put it better myself. She should write for the NME and show those little whiny angsty bleeders a thing or two about opinions.

So I hope that this blog entertains you, even the tiniest amount. There'll be a Eurovision special in the coming weeks too so stay tuned.

Also, I realise when Later... isn't on the air, it could get a bit quiet here so I'll have to think of something else to do.